


Matchstick

by Dreamformetoo



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, awkward teens, no trk spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-03 18:26:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6621445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamformetoo/pseuds/Dreamformetoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam is tired and acts more rashly than he normally would.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to get something out before TRK arrives (AH!), so here! More confused, stupid boys who like each other a whole lot and don't understand how their feelings work.
> 
> Comments are appreciated! 
> 
> The title is from "Matchstick" by American Royals.

Adam’s day had been shitty and long. All he wanted was to do was get back to his room, take a shower to wash all of the grease off of him, and sleep for as long as he could. It was almost eleven now, and if Adam hurried, he knew that he could be asleep by 11:30. He’d have to wake up early to do homework, but at least he could sleep _now_ and not later.

 

His feet ached as he climbed up the stairs at St. Agnes. He needed new shoes. He added that to the list of things he needed to save for.

               

When Adam got to the top of the stairs, he saw Ronan sitting by his door. Ronan looked up as Adam approached, face neutral but assessing. Adam knew that he looked as tired as he felt.

               

“What do you want, Lynch?” Adam asked as he unlocked his door.

               

Ronan only shrugged and followed Adam inside.

 

“Look,” Adam started, dropping his backpack by his desk. “I’m exhausted, so if you could just _not_ cause me any trouble tonight, that’d be great.”

 

Adam turned to look at Ronan, hoping to make his point clear. When their eyes caught, Adam saw Ronan’s face flush.

 

“What?” Adam asked.

 

He knew what, but he was past the point of tired where he cared about being careful.

 

“Why are you staring at me?”

               

Ronan’s eyes hardened at Adam’s challenging tone.

 

“I’m not allowed to look at you? That’s gonna make this friendship awfully hard, Parrish.”

 

Adam rolled his eyes and sat on his mattress, reaching down to pull off his shoes.

 

“Whatever.”

 

Ronan sighed and leaned back against the wall by Adam’s door.

 

“You look good, okay?”

 

Adam froze, bent over his feet.

 

“The torn shirt, all the grease, it’s a…good look on you.”

 

Adam remained frozen and Ronan coughed awkwardly.

 

“ _You_ asked.”

 

“Yeah,” Adam replied. He sat up, staring ahead, afraid of what would happen if he looked at Ronan right now. “I did.”

 

He’d asked but he didn’t think Ronan would _answer_. Adam’s heart was beating faster and he suddenly felt very awake.

 

“Look, I should go.”

 

Ronan pushed away from the wall and shoved his hands in his pockets.

 

“No.”

 

Ronan’s eyebrows raised. “No?”

 

“No,” Adam said, heart pounding loudly in his chest. “No, you can stay. You should stay.”

 

Ronan tipped his head down, “Alright.”

 

Adam didn’t know what to do now. His brain wasn’t making sense and his hands felt hot. He stood up.

 

“I’m really tired,” he said.

 

“Okay.”

 

He stepped over to face Ronan. They were only inches apart.

 

“Don’t…don’t think that means that I don’t know what I’m doing. Because I do. I think I…I’m just too tired to keep pretending.”

 

“Pretending _what_ , Parrish? You’re not making any sense.”

 

Adam shook his head.

 

“I’m just tired. I’m tired of acting like I don’t notice when you look at me. Like I don’t want you to look at me.”

 

Ronan blinked at him.

 

“What…what are you talking about?”

 

Adam could tell that Ronan was ready to make an excuse and run.

 

Adam wasn’t going to let that happen.

 

Before Ronan could say anything else, Adam reached out with both hands to grab the back of Ronan’s neck, pulling him closer.

 

Ronan made a noise of surprise that was cut off by Adam’s mouth.

 

For a moment it was awkward, and Adam cursed himself for ruining everything and started to pull away so that he could go crawl into a hole. Before he could get too far, Ronan pulled at Adam’s shirt and fit their mouths together again.

 

_Oh._

 

Ronan moved his lips against Adam’s, opening them slightly and angling his head. He pushed forward as his jaw moved. Adam couldn’t breathe.

 

Adam tightened his hands at the back of Ronan’s neck, pulling him closer and giving himself fully to the kiss. They were flush together but somehow Adam wanted _more_ and when Ronan bit at his bottom lip, Adam groaned and brought one hand to Ronan’s shoulder, gripping hard.

 

They parted, both breathing heavily with wide eyes. Ronan let go of Adam quickly and took a step back. Adam’s hands fell between them.

 

“I’m…I need to shower,” Adam said, voice low. He cleared his throat, cheeks hot.

 

“You can stay," he continued. "I’ll be quick, I just…then we can talk. We’ll talk.”

 

Adam backed away.

 

“I need to shower.”

 

Ronan only stared at him but Adam had to move. His hands were shaking.

 

He retreated into the bathroom and took a deep breath as he closed the door behind him.

 

Really, they should be talking _now_. But Adam needed a moment to process what’d just happened. Honestly, he was freaking out.

 

He turned the shower knob, wincing as it squeaked before turning on. Another deep breath. Now that the adrenaline was fading, his exhaustion was creeping back in. He stripped out of his clothes and stepped under the lukewarm water, determined to be quick so he could get back to Ronan. To reassure Ronan that this wasn’t a mistake, that this was something that Adam wanted.

 

Adam was only in the shower for a few minutes, but as he dried himself off, he realized that he’d left Ronan out there by himself. By himself with his _feelings_ after Adam had kissed him. Shit.

 

“Ronan?” he called through the bathroom door.

 

There was no response.

 

Shit shit _shit_.

 

Adam tied the towel around his waist and pulled the bathroom door open.

 

The room was empty.

 

Adam closed his eyes at his stupidity.

 

Shit. What was he going to do now?

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, sorry that it took so long to update! Finals, a new job, and TRK sucked up most of my free time, but it is done! Huzzah!
> 
> This was started before TRK came out, so there are no spoilers!
> 
> Comments are appreciated, and you can find me at 221bblaine on tumblr!

Ronan didn’t show up at school the next day. This wasn’t an unusual occurrence, but after last night, Adam knew the reason. At least, he thought he did.

He knew that he hadn’t been reading Ronan wrong. It wasn’t an unwanted kiss. Maybe Ronan was questioning Adam’s decision… Adam couldn’t really blame him, he hadn’t even intended to kiss him. He’d just been so tired. He’d wanted to kiss Ronan and so he did, no thoughts past that. And now Ronan probably thought that Adam regretted it.

He didn’t.

Sure, he should have waited for a better time, but there were no regrets. He and Ronan had grown closer over the past few months and it was enough to make Adam see that whatever they had between them wasn’t just a one-sided infatuation. He wanted more with Ronan, but now that he’d messed up, he wasn’t sure how it would all play out.

“Hey,” Adam said as he sat beside Gansey in class. “Was Ronan at Monmouth last night?”

Gansey shook his head.

“No. I texted him probably over ten times and finally got a response around one. He’s at the Barns.”

Adam didn’t reply and Gansey looked closer at him.

“Why? Did something happen last night?”

Adam thought about telling the truth, but class was going to start soon and he didn’t want Gansey to have to worry about this. He had enough going on. Adam would fix this himself.

“Yeah, but I’ve got it.”

Gansey looked unconvinced.

“Alright. Should I be concerned?”

“No, it’ll be fine.”

God, he _hoped_ it would be fine.

*

After classes ended, Adam reassured Gansey that it wasn’t a big deal and that Gansey was fine to head to Nino’s to see Blue. Any other day, Adam would be thinking more about that, the emerging thing between Blue and Gansey, but today he had to get to the Barns. He had to get to Ronan.

The drive to the Barns wasn’t hard in the Hondayota, but it was certainly nicer in the BMW. It seemed to take forever before Adam was pulling up to the house, but he knew that was probably because he was nervous.

What if he ended up making everything worse?

Adam got out of the car but didn’t know where to head. Ronan could be anywhere.

Palms starting to sweat, he headed past the sheds to the fields. The grass was a faded green and it almost reached Adam’s knees. He wasn’t sure how, but he knew now that Ronan was somewhere out here.

He was.

Past an equipment shed, Adam found Ronan lying on his back in the grass, eyes closed.

Adam approached cautiously, not wanting to startle Ronan out of sleep if he was dreaming. He sat lightly next to him, studying his face.

“Like what you see, Parrish?”

Adam didn’t jump when Ronan spoke, and he didn’t avert his eyes when Ronan opened his.

“I do,” Adam said.

Ronan looked away.

“Parrish, look,” Ronan started.

“No,” Adam said. “Let me talk first.”

Ronan pushed himself up so that he sat next to Adam.

“Alright.”

“I’m…I think I know why you left last night and it’s my fault. I didn’t really make myself clear and…I wasn’t very fair to you.”

Ronan only looked at him.

Adam sighed.

“I like you, Ronan. Last night was a mistake, but only because I didn’t explain myself. I didn’t think and…”

He shook his head.

“I _still_ can’t think.”

Ronan reached out to push his hand through the grass between them.

“I get it. You didn’t mean to kiss me and now you want to take it back. It’s fine, Parrish.”

Adam knew that it wasn’t fine. Ronan wasn’t understanding.

Adam reached for Ronan’s hand, pulling it from the grass and hesitantly lacing their fingers together.

Ronan’s brow furrowed.

“What…”

“I meant it, Ronan. I kissed you and I meant it, even if I wish it could have happened at a better time. I don’t want to take it back. I want…I want _you_. I want this, if you do too.”

Adam squeezed Ronan’s hand and looked down.

“I like you,” he whispered.

Suddenly, Ronan’s hand pulled away and Adam felt like everything was wrong. Ronan didn’t want him, didn’t want whatever they could be. This was a mistake.

Adam tensed, ready for rejection.

“Adam.”

Ronan’s soft tone made Adam look up, their eyes meeting.

Ronan’s hands came up to Adam’s face, thumbs grazing Adam’s jaw as he pulled him closer.

Adam closed his eyes as Ronan’s lips met his. It was nothing like their first kiss. Ronan’s lips were soft against his and their heads tilted only slightly to the side as they moved closer together. Adam felt light, like Ronan was the only thing holding him to Earth.

Ronan pulled back, hands sliding to the back of Adam’s neck.

“I like you too,” he breathed.

He kissed him again.

“I like you a lot.”

Adam smiled into Ronan’s mouth, hand reaching for Ronan’s waist.

“Me too.”

*

An hour later, they were standing by their cars. Ronan had Adam pushed up against the Hondayota, one hand in his hair and the other just under the front of his shirt.

Adam couldn’t breathe.

He groaned and pulled his head away, gasping for breath. Ronan attached his lips to Adam’s neck.

“I have to go to work.”

Ronan continued to mouth at Adam’s jaw.

“Ronan,” Adam laughed. “I’ve gotta go.”

He placed both hands on Ronan’s chest and Ronan pulled away. His lips were red and his eyes were hungry.

Adam _really_ wanted to stay.

“Okay,” Ronan said. He took a step back. “Go to work.”

Adam brought his hand up to Ronan’s cheek. He felt strong and alive and awake.

“Come over later?”

Ronan smirked, mouth sharp.

“So forward, Parrish. My, what would Gansey say?”

Adam rolled his eyes. Ronan turned his head to kiss Adam’s palm before he pulled it away.

“I’ll see you later.”

Adam grinned.

“Yeah, later.”

*

When Adam got back to St. Agnes that night, Ronan was waiting for him at the door, Chainsaw perched on his shoulder.

“Hey,” Adam said, unlocking the door. Chainsaw flew inside.

“Hey.”

Ronan smiled at him and Adam felt himself smile back reflexively.

“You want to help with my Latin homework?” he joked.

Ronan shrugged and followed Adam inside, taking his hand as he did.


End file.
